[8:31am]
Was up til 2am last night editing the footage from a couple days ago. I know I'm gonna FEEL it later...
Today's the day i released my 12th or 13th album 'Nowhere Like Always' by a project of mine called Glinter. I have mixed feelings; first of it's exciting and I have a slight butterfly feeling in my stomach because I love releasing new stuff, but also a part of me is a bit disappointed I guess.
Because listen right not to sound braggy but I release a shit ton of music, this is my 12th or 13th album now, plus all the other little EPs I released in between albums. I put out a lot. I feel like the more you put out the less special your art becomes... the more people go "oh yeah that's just tom he's put out ANOTHER album". "he's just in the corner doing his thing let him be". I'm just thinking about my friends listening to it - well, I don't think anyone apart from my 3 closest mates would without me asking. And i'm awkward to ask cos like it's awkward. I want more of my friends to be present and up to date with my music, but it's kinda my fault because I make no deliberate effort to share my life with them in that way.
I might send some messages to people later asking them to check it out but I'll see if I have the confidence lol.
I don't really like being filled with all these kind of negative and slightly depricating thoughts but they really creep up on me sometimes. I am proud though. Or at least I'm really trying to be proud of myself...
Just as I wrote that my dad came in and he was just asking me about what I've been working on recently and I showed him how I've been working on selling digital downloads of music and how I've set up my merch store to sell them etc, and he was just impressed and said he thought I was doing an amazing job, so that's instantly made me happier about things. He must be fucking psychic.
AND I get to see Mimi in like an hour cos she's coming round and we're gonna hang out + film some more stuff for promo of the Glinter album. I'm really excited for that.
A couple days ago we were calling before bed and she asked me what my relationship goals are and I think the main one right now is to include her as part of my musical life. I really am a superhero with two identities, but I don't wanna be two people around her. And by extension I think my general friendship goals are similar, I want to somehow include more of my friends with the music I make and put out. I want every time I release something to feel like my birthday and get messages from at least 5 people telling me they've listened to it. I think that would genuinely make me happier than 100 emails from strangers. Hmmm okay 100 emails from strangers would be really amazing actually, but you know. It's the little things that make it pop ;-)